Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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