Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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