Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
