We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
