I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
