If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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