Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahaha how?

  (954): View more from Florida

  its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi (425): hahaha how? (954): its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery http://tfl.nu/yw6o
  Replies (22) Good night (4075) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away http://tfl.nu/d57a
  Replies (40) Good night (4660) Bad night (3037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much. http://tfl.nu/97de
  Replies (22) Good night (3953) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures. http://tfl.nu/t4cj
  Replies (3) Good night (4187) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen? http://tfl.nu/sppe
  Replies (17) Good night (3371) Bad night (1394) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51
  Replies (5) Good night (2074) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up. http://tfl.nu/2xcc
  Replies (3) Good night (1344) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic http://tfl.nu/acyn
  Replies (6) Good night (4799) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do. (812): Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this. http://tfl.nu/m912
  Replies (10) Good night (1386) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box. (336): Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark. http://tfl.nu/oail
  Replies (9) Good night (1376) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED. (1-720): OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby! http://tfl.nu/5dg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1257) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here. http://tfl.nu/2ffm
  Replies (4) Good night (1043) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis http://tfl.nu/lbuu
  Replies (42) Good night (866) Bad night (3262)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type. http://tfl.nu/54at
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Did you put pizza in my boxers last night? (1-612): I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day? http://tfl.nu/wnhf
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt

Randomize