all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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