Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am