the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...