Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.