Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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