Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it hurts more in the daytime
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.