He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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