u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize