where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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