I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
