Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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