I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
