Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize