my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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