Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
