____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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