WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
