I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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