just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
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Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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