You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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