I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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