Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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