when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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