when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She swung at the pinata with crutches
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize