Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
