so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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