weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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