My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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