I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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