u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
