Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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