I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
