I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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