Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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