You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
