am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
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