I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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