mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
