My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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