i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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