whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
