No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
