Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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