Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
false alarm. still invincible.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize