her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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