I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
