Having a random hookup so left but love u
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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